September 28, 2020
I started my journey by reading We Are The Luckiest, by Laura McKowen, then joined her online sober community called TLC (The Luckiest Club).🧡
I’m going to start us out with a few quotes that I love….
“Nobody is cheering harder for me than the girl I used to be.” -Unknown
“Owning your story is the bravest thing you’ll ever do.” - Brené Brown
“Shame dies when stories are told in safe places”. -Ann Voskamp
“In a society that openly shames people that struggle with addiction, it’s a rebellious act to share your story.” -@Recoveryisthenewblack
In a previous post I mentioned my real start date for my health journey was September 28, 2020. I am a true believer in sharing experiences - both good and bad - to shine a light for others who may be walking the same path but need help navigating it. As of today, I will be recovering out loud so others won’t have to suffer in silence.
Many people can occasionally drink alcohol for fun. Many people have a healthy relationship with alcohol. I am not one of those many people. For way too long it became a crutch for my anxiety. I wasn’t a “drink all day, can’t function without it” type of girl, but I was a “watch the clock until it’s an acceptable time to drink” and “doesn’t know when to call it a night” kind of girl. I wasn’t drinking alcohol light-heartedly or for fun; I was drinking it to escape my crippling anxiety. News flash: It didn’t.
I realize this may come as a surprise to some friends and family; and to others, maybe not. I was pretty good at hiding it because it was mostly in the comfort of my own home in the evenings. My unhealthy relationship with alcohol never came to a rock bottom and it never greatly affected anyone else, although I think my family would agree I am a much happier and more present Lindy now that I am alcohol free. And while you may have seen the outward/physical signs of my health journey, it is the inner work - my healed soul - that has been life-changing and miraculous. There is absolutely no way that I could have achieved my sobriety on my own. It is truly only by the grace of God. He doesn’t make mistakes and I know He will use this journey of mine for the greater good.
I’m not going to lie, this is the toughest post I’ve ever written. I’d love to crawl under the covers and hide for a while after I hit the publish button. But I won’t. Because from now on, I will recover out loud. I will speak my truth to help others. I have to believe I walked through the darkness so I could fully appreciate the Light. Sharing that healing and Light with others will forever be my mission.
Reader, if you have a healthy relationship with alcohol, that is awesome! Reader, if you don’t have a healthy relationship with alcohol, you don’t even realize how much you rock yet, but I’d love to help you find out.
I celebrated 9 months of sobriety on June 28th. My first ever published piece of writing was released on June 30th in the online magazine Hola Sober. Writing is my passion, so it only seems fitting that God would use my mess and turn it into a hopeful message. I am so very thankful.
Before I sign off, I want you to know…
Before deciding to go public with this, I had conversations with my family (including my children). They are fully supportive. I am so grateful for their unconditional love and encouragement. They have had my back through it all!
I am not more boring now that I’m alcohol free.
I actually have more fun now.
I experience true happiness on a daily basis.
You do not need to be an alcoholic to decide alcohol isn’t serving you well.
I had no idea that life could be so good in the absence of alcohol.
You can check out my first published piece of writing by clicking on Hola Sober, a beautiful online magazine for the sober and sober-curious, created by the lovely Susan Christina. My article is on pages 48-49.
Until next time, Just be you…
Lindy