Meet Lucas

Lucas John was born on November 7, 2016 in China. He was in an orphanage in Hohhot, located in the Inner Mongolia province, until just before his 3rd birthday. Lucas became a Phelps on November 4, 2019. When we met him, he was silent and scared. Knowing the vibrant personality he has now, it breaks my heart to think of how petrified he must have been then. He was so somber, quiet and shy that first day, but that evening we got a glimpse of his smile and you would have thought he won the Nobel Prize by the way we celebrated his sweet smile. There were trees with giant leaves that he was fascinated with. Rob picked one up off the ground, threw it in the air, and watched it float back down. It brought him so much joy! After that, his smiles and giggles started coming easier.

Our time in China was so special. We did a lot with another family who were adopting their first son. Having that fellowship was so comforting and something we will forever be thankful for. We bonded over our lack of sleep, cluelessness, and joy. We experienced many adventures in China, but our favorite was the amazing zoo. It was a zoo unlike any we have ever been to. We really saw Lucas’s personality come to life there!

Though there were a lot of amazing experiences in China, we also had some struggles. Lucas got sick 3 different times. His poor immune system was coming to life along with his personality. He woke up with a fever and a lot of vomiting on the morning we left to return home. It was horrible. Our first flight from Guanghzou to Beijing was miserable as we were constantly catching puke. We were finally able to get him to keep some medicine in prior to our long flight and he perked up, thank the Lord. We have since learned that his body’s reaction to fevers is vomiting…a lot of it.

On our last flight, from Detroit to CWA, I was overcome with emotion. I had to sit away from Lucas and Rob, which is probably a good thing because I cried the whole time. The exhaustion of our journey, not just the physical part, but the 4.5 years of the ups and downs of our adoption journey hit me square in the heart. The reality of what was to come as soon as we stepped foot in our door, the meshing together of our new family dynamics, felt like a heavy weight. I worried about our kiddos back home and all that was about to change for them. I worried about our kiddo sitting in the back of the plane with daddy and all that was about to be new and overwhelming for him. I worried about my ability to be a good mom for all of them and meet all their emotional needs during this process.

It was almost midnight when we got home, but Madi was awake and waiting for us. Seeing her brought a wave of relief and the most overwhelming love and appreciation; hugging her literally felt like a hug for my soul. I didn’t want to let her go…but she really wanted to see her new brother, so I had to. Even typing this now, I am in tears thinking about seeing her and that hug. I don’t think she’ll ever know what that hug meant to me in that moment - that her hug felt like home to my heart.

Our first couple weeks home were a blur of all of us coexisting and figuring out our new normal. I am proud of how well all of my children transitioned. It wasn’t easy for anyone, but it was so heartwarming to see them putting love into action with their new little brother. And though Lucas didn’t have much of a vocabulary yet, he was great at communicating his needs and wants. He had four siblings ready to jump into action and help with anything. I probably struggled with the transition the most. Looking back, I’m sure that was due in large part to the horrible jet lag. I went through a period of fogginess, anxiety, and sadness. I put on a good front, but was dealing with some major internal battles trying to push through the fog. I will forever be thankful to Rob and our parents for helping me through those couple weeks. They were always ready and willing to help. By the grace of God, I slowly started to feel like my old self again. I’m not going to lie, I still feel overwhelmed a lot, but the joy takes up most of the space in my heart now.

Just as we were starting to take our training wheels off with this new life, COVID hit. In many ways it was good for Lucas because it kept his world very small and we were able to do a lot of family bonding. He knew he had safety, security, and love in his home and with his family. We weren’t running around constantly to the kids’s sporting events or practices like we are now! It gave him (and us) time to adjust slowly. We all know what the pandemic was like, so I’m going to fast forward to the present-day Lucas because he is so awesome and deserves to be celebrated!

Where to begin?! What an incredible privilege it has been to watch Lucas absolutely thrive in the past 18 months! He has no shortage of words now; his voice will never be silenced again. In fact, Lucas likes to talk a lot and very loudly - he makes darn sure that anyone within a one mile radius will hear him! ;) He is a smarty-pants and a bossy-pants! He loves reading books, doing puzzles, playing with his busses, dinosaurs and trucks, watching Peppa Pig, playing outside, playing with his siblings and our neighbors/friends, spending time with his Godparents, being with his grandparents, and eating lots of food! Lucas is the perfect mix of sweet and spunky. He loves to push my buttons and do the opposite of what I ask/tell him to do, all while smiling or giggling. It’s all fun and games until he finds himself in a time-out! I often say, “You’re my boy, Lucas”. Now Lucas likes to tell people he loves, “You’re my boy!”. He is going to school once a week for Early Childhood services and he loves it! He is excited to ride the bus to 4K next year! Lucas is a little love-bug and loves to snuggle. He crawls into bed by me in the morning, sticks his little hand inside my sleeve and holds on tight while rubbing it between his fingers (he used to do this to his own sleeve, but early on switched and does it to mine and sometimes Rob’s), and with a sweet smile and his thumb in his mouth, whispers “You’re my boy, Momma.”. Loving Lucas is one of the greatest blessings of my life.

Until next time, just be you!

Lindy